Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
