she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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