Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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