Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize