You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
