his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
