I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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