Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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