Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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