in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have fence marks all over my body
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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