he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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