His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
