id be glad to
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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