Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
tell me about the fingering
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