I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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