fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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