in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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