I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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