I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
