I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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