I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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