can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
