She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
