she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
