erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
