We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
