So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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