After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
