I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
