I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
