who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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