They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
