Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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