you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
