so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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