i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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