so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
