My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
