There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
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I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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