she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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