due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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