some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
