either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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