what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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