her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
