I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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