It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
