he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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