Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
