Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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