my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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