She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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