I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
