I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
