I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize