we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
