I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
