my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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