I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
