i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
